Transitory Dance
by Diva-esque
Summary: The Jyuunishi celebrate the change of years. Yuki narrates a tale of family pride and sorrow.


Aishuu Offers:  
**Transitory Dance**

A Fruits Basket Fan Fiction

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket does not belong to me.

* * *

New Year's Eve is perhaps the most important day of all for the Sohma family, even if they know nothing about the Jyunishi curse. From all over Japan, and even outside of the country, the family gathers to spend the night together, and we come together, an immense clan that many envy. The Sohma name is an elite one, descendants of samurai and artists, and we will never let anyone forget it. 

In the evening, there is a special feast, one that only the Jyunishi members are allowed to attend. This feast includes a special dance and is part of what keeps the Jyunishi united, for sometimes we are all we have. We may hide behind Akito, but when it comes down to it, there is no one closer to a Jyunishi than another Jyunishi.

There are actually two more things that unite us, but both of these are grimmer and bring no joy to us. One is Akito, whom we all fear. There is no telling what will send him into one of his rages, and as time passes, he becomes more and more obsessed with possessing us. I used to want to rage against him, when I was younger and had that kind of courage, remind him that though I was cursed, I was human. Then... Akito...

I do not want to think about it. Suffice it to say that I can merely obey his wishes. I never want to end up there again.

The second thing that unites us is our hatred of the cat. The cat, no matter who carries the curse, is automatically excluded. The legend of the mouse and cat on the eve of the Jyunishi party is a favorite of many, but I am not one who believes it. There is something deeper there, for the curse of the cat is the most feared things a Sohma can know. It's not about being an outcast; it's about becoming a monster. Every time we see the bracelet upon Kyou's wrist, we are reminded that within him lies something that is beyond our worst nightmares.

When I was born, I was especially fortunate that it happened in the Year of the Mouse. This is more rare than one might think; Even if we are cursed, it is rare for us to be cursed with the spirit of the Year we are born in. It is special, truly, and many believe that the curse holds onto me that much more tightly because of it. Haru and Shigure also share this burden, but I... I was born in the Year of the Mouse.

The Mouse is the most admired of all the Jyunishi, and the one who bears the curse is sometimes viewed as almost blessed. It was part of the reason I was so desperate to be normal, even if only for a little while.

When I was thirteen, it was my turn to dance again.

That evening was a hectic one. I was dressed in the robes of the Jyunishi, complete with an elaborate headdress with ribbons of violet, which brought out my eyes. My feet were bare, and at my waist hung a folding fan that many Noh dancers used in performances. My mother and father helped prepare me, proudly showing me my reflection in a full-length mirror when the costume was on.

I hated it. I looked even more feminine than usual.

My mother is not a comforting woman; my father is not someone I respect. At that time, I was not confident enough to hate them, since it was still engraved in my psyche that respecting your parents was something that must be done. It would take an incident later that year to truly make me despise them- but that is not part of this story.

"He'll do well," my father said, speaking over my head. He never addressed me directly, and when I was young, I had thought it was my fault. Now I know it was because he was just a cold, cruel person.

"What if he missteps?" my mother asked, sounding concerned. I knew she wasn't worried about me, but rather the reflection on her.

"He won't," my father said, finally deigning to look at me. His dark brown eyes warned me that there would be serious consequences if I did.

"If he does, he'll have a whole cycle of bad luck," he said. "Or even..."

I stared at the wall. I had heard of other Jyunishi and what they had done.

They didn't truly know what happened at the Jyunishi dance; they assumed, like all outsiders, that a set dance that was performed every year for hundreds of years; nothing could be further from the truth. Like each year, each dance was different.

I smoothed a slight wrinkle in my robe, feeling numb. I was not nervous; the mouse was not allowed to be.

A soft voice, deceptively pleasant, spoke, startling my parents. "I'm sure Yuki will do just perfectly. After all, he's never anything but, isn't he?"

I looked up, feeling a swell of terror race through my body.

Akito.

I had known he would come for me, but I had blacked it from my mind. He stood in the doorway, back lit by light from the hallway. He was wearing a very dark kimono, with even darker embroidery that cost a fortune. He looked pale and ghostlike, but strangely splendid for it. Akito was sickly, and the clothing he wore emphasized his poor health. Some people wondered about that; I did not. Akito was an extreme person. If he had to be sick, then he would do so in extreme style.

My parents both bowed low to Akito, and I just stared, like a creature caught in the headlights. Every time I saw him, I felt constrained, and I flashed back to the room where he locked me whenever his whimsy took him. He'd make up an excuse, but the truth was, he'd do it simply to showcase his power. Of all the Jyunishi, the mouse was the strongest; if he could dominate me, then he ruled us all with ease.

"Come, Yuki. It's time to trick the stupid kitten," Akito said, the gentle voice playful.

This, too, was part of the ritual. I did this every year; a ceremony called the Exclusion of the Cat. Even though Kyou and I didn't like each other, I hated this part of the festivities. It reminded me that, yes, I was cursed by perhaps the cruelest of the Jyunishi. I followed him silently, staring straight ahead. By now, all the Jyunishi would be preparing to come, and I would be first among them to enter- the Parade of the Jyunishi. There were many rituals.

Akito always had some sort of weird telepathic abilities around me. He looked at me, and smiled. "You don't like doing this, do you, Yuki?"

"It's mean," I said. I couldn't lie to Akito, even when the truth would anger him; he always could detect lies.

That time he just laughed, and rested his hand on my head. I hadn't yet hit my growth spurt, so he stood a good head and a half taller than I. "You're too kind, Yuki. This is my favorite part of the evening, since I'm not allowed to watch the dance... I don't think that's fair. I'm the Head of the Sohma family. I'd love to watch you dance."

I kept my face carefully blank. If I was too kind, then he was too cruel.

Kyou was seated outside the door to the feast, waiting for me. He was dressed in casual clothes, and wearing a tremendous scowl. This was the most humiliating moment of the year for him, and he had to suffer it from me, repeatedly.

"Did you hear? The Jade Emperor is holding a feast, and he's invited you," I said.

"When is the feast?" he asked.

"It's tomorrow," I told him. "Why don't you go rest up for the celebration?" I said.

"That's a good idea," he returned, rising to his feet with a scowl. He bowed to me. "You're a good friend to deliver the invitation."

"I look forward to seeing you at the party," I replied, stepping aside so he could pass, completing the ritual.

Akito was smothering his laughter as Kyou stormed passed. "You're so good at that, Yuki," he said, and this time, his hand caressed my cheek. It was all I could do to keep from flinching; his hands felt like a three-day old corpse, reaching out to take me into the grave with him. "The parade's about to start," he said.

I nodded. The inner Sohma family, the ones who knew about the curse, had gathered to witness the ceremonies. About half of them came to witness the Exclusion; not all of them were comfortable seeing a child be cruel to another. All of them, though, would arrive for the parade, for that would be the end of the main family gathering.

I stood outside, waiting for the others to arrive. Haru arrived first, dressed in white and black. He hadn't yet gotten all his piercings, but his hair was wild, and his robes weren't at all traditional, made of fur and some strange reflective white material that hurt my eyes. When we were older, he would carry me to the feast, but practicality ruled, and Haru was judged too young to carry me- the next year, he would.

Kisa showed up next, looking sweet in a golden kimono, embroidered with swans, followed by Momiji, Hatori... and then Ayame.

People had come to look at me, but Ayame, as always, made a scene, wearing an elaborate silver Chinese tunic that fell to his knees, embroidered with emerald green snakes with jeweled amber eyes that match Ayame's own. Every year, the snake made one of the finest showings in the parade, even when it wasn't his turn to dance. If there was one thing Ayame was, it was a showman.

A far more subdued Rin followed him, then Hiro, and followed by Ritsu, who was, as usual, wearing female raiment. I averted my eyes, Ritsu scared me... Ritsu could have been me, had I not had the skills I was born with. Then came the rooster, whose name I never remembered since I only saw him on New Years, Shigure, and Kagura ended the procession, her face solemn. The boar was never in a good position, since they had almost been forgotten in the Jyunishi, and by coming last, they were always reminded of that.

The oldest member of our family, Sohma Daiichi stepped forward, to speak the lines of the Jade Emperor. "I bid you welcome to the feast!" he said; his thin, reedy voice carrying out over the crowd that gathered.

I walked forward, bowed to him, and then entered the room. The rest of the procession followed, and he shut the door behind us after we were all inside.

Before us were spread delicacies from all over the world, but we would not be allowed to eat it until after the dancing. Hidden in the shadows were the various instruments of the Jyunishi, which they would retrieve on my command. Since the year of the mouse still had not officially ended, I was in charge until the end of the dance, when Hatsuharu would become the ruling Jyunishi.

Akito may rule the Sohma family, but there were subtleties that he didn't understand.

I nodded and everyone fanned out, fetching their belongings, and forming a circle twenty paces across. I would only have that area to dance within. I took my place at the northern cardinal point, Kagura and Haru on either side of me as everyone tuned their instruments. I waited until Hatori finished before I moved again, with the headdress trailing behind me.

I stepped out into the center of the floor, waiting for the music to begin.

The music, too, was part of the celebration. Each of the Jyunishi would contribute to the dance in turn, challenging the dancer to keep the tempo. This was actually my second time dancing, since the year of the Mouse had passed before, but then I had only been a baby and the dance had been performed by Ayame, as he held onto me... that was one of my few good memories of him. Part of the Jyunishi curse is to forget nothing, so I remember far too much of the pain his thoughtlessness had inflicted on me, but I am glad of that memory. His golden eyes had seemed so serious as we bid farewell to the prior year together.

Still, this was special. Everyone expected such great things from the one who was cursed by the Mouse, and they would challenge me. I was only thirteen, but I had to live up to their expectations; failure was not acceptable.

It was Haru who began the music, since his year followed mine. The Year of the Ox would officially start on completion of my dance, and he was the one who would begin and end the music. I had done the same for Kagura, who danced the previous year. This year, though, my flute was in my room, safely protected by its case. The mouse always plays the flute, but that's because of a different variation of the legend. It was a version I didn't like very much, for it made the mouse sound petty, and let the cat be shown in a better light.

Haru played a guitar, but to my slight surprise, the music was gentle, and slow paced. I knew Haru loved me, and he was doing his best to make the dance something I could easily perform. I gave a slight smile as my feet begin to move to the beat, as the music ran through me like a waterfall.

The long robes swirled around me as the trailing ribbons from my headdress spun, giving me the feeling of what it'd be like to have longer hair. The melody rippled around me, and I stepped evenly to it, my movements slow and fluid. My karate training had come in useful for this; my body was strong and agile enough to sustain the long dance, which could last for only a few minutes, or hours... depending on the music I was supplied.

No two dances were exactly the same, just as no years were the same. Each dancer was forced to improvise with whatever music was forced at them, and the person who represented the mouse was almost always challenged to the breaking point. The person who held the position in the time of my great-grandfather had broken.

I would not.

Haru's pace quickened, but I met his challenge, aware that all too soon, Kisa would pick up the melody. After the cow, came the tiger. It was one of the reasons they were so close.

Kisa was learning the drums, but she still hadn't mastered them. She by nature, she had little musical talent, unlike the younger Hiro. Still, she had enough of a sense of rhythm to keep the beat, and when she began to clap along with Haru, he wound the music down so she controlled the pace.

The music was different now, a little more wild, with a sense of longing for something that Kisa knew she couldn't have. Her beat reminded me of a hunt, of something tribal, and I adjusted my steps to it. I knew that she wouldn't be able to maintain the pace for long, so I swung my arms and moved more freely, feeling exotic and wild myself. I had to pace myself, because Rin and Hiro would definitely try to make me stumble.

She must have signaled for Momiji even sooner than I thought, because her clapping died away, only to be picked up by the sound of Momiji's tambourine. His beat was quick and jumpy, and, every now and then, he shook it, setting it ringing, a sound that coursed through my body. Momiji didn't have the patience to learn a more complicated instrument, but the simple percussion suited him, a chased rabbit that was constantly being hunted, with a slight playfulness.

I took on that playfulness, winking at my blond cousin as I crouched lower and moved in quicker steps, swinging my hips, and narrowing my eyes. I had gone from being the hunting tiger to the hunted rabbit... and it was exhilarating. I lost my fear of falling and allowed the dance to rule me. Momiji wouldn't want me to fail; Momiji hated no one. His section lasted almost as long as Haru's, but the next Jyunishi came in after a few minutes, and the mood changed.

The mournful strains of the violin were the next to join the challenge. The violin wasn't an easy instrument to play, and few people can truly master it, but Hatori had. It was such an expressive instrument that the player could not hide their soul from their audience. Hatori was the one who moved me now, and I was saddened. It hadn't been that long since he had lost Kana and his sorrow came through.

This was the true challenge of the Jyunishi dance, and I knew that Hatori wasn't one of the people who was doing it deliberately. Those would be coming later. Still, I had to change paces from Momiji's sheer exuberance to Hatori's wistful sorrow, and be able to express them without stumbling. I slowed, and my movements became almost lethargic, though I was not tired. I slowly raised one leg so it was parallel to the floor, and rose on the toes of the other as I raised my arms to the sky and threw my head back. I held on for a moment, which required more strength then the unskilled would have believed, before sliding to the floor, kneeling in sorrow. I pressed my hands on the floor in front on me and used them to spring upwards, modifying katas I had learned, slowing them down and shutting my eyes as the violin played on. The violence of my karate suited the music, as odd as it seems in retrospect.

I could feel the crescendo building, and I leapt into the air, doing a back flip, somehow instinctively timing it for the final haunting wail of the violin. I landed as the room went silent, and I knew I had done well. I was the mouse, and I always impressed others as easily as I breathed.

It took a moment for Ayame to take his turn. It was beautiful, the shakuhachi. I waited for the music to slither around me, not wanted to embrace it, since it was part of Aya, but knowing I had to. I slid the fan free and held it between my fingers, waiting for Ayame to truly begin to play.

The shakuhachi is a haunting instrument. There's only five holes on it, but it can make an amazing array of sounds, and something about it reminds me of the wind. Ayame begin to play a little more quickly, but he still reminded me a snake charmer. I flicked the fan open and whirled in the dance, not allowing Ayame's natural flamboyance to overwhelm me. This was my night, and he would not steal even a second of it from me.

The notes died down, and Rin was next to perform. The pretty young girl held no instrument; she, like Shigure, would sing. People might not think that challenging, but Rin had an amazing vocal range, and a hatred of me. That wasn't a surprise, since the horse never liked the mouse; it was the positioning of the signs. We simply had no compatibility.

I turned and met her grass green eyes, waiting for her to begin her challenge. This is where my true test would start. I had already performed for six of the Jyunishi, and I knew I was getting tired. Rin would try to exhaust me, hoping to make me fall later on. She met my eyes, challenging in her own.

She began to sing, and I did my best not to stumble as her perfect voice lifted in song. Rather then choosing some complex opera, she sang a tune that was almost a lullaby, ghostlike and haunting in the quarter notes that went up and down:

Imagine a perfect beach  
Without a mermaid  
Imagine a perfect hideaway  
Without a time

Ocean Soul

Imagine a perfect Eden  
Without a friend without a serpent

Ocean Soul  
Lonely Soul

Feeling lonely and content at the same time,  
I believe,  
is a rare kind of happiness

Ocean Soul  
Lonely Soul

Her sweet voice sounded pure and innocent, but I almost fell halfway as she mocked me. Luckily, I maintained my cool well enough to keep moving and no one saw the near disaster. Rin knew me very well, and in her song choice, she was hitting all my vulnerable points. I was sure if I questioned her after, it would be a song written by someone else. I moved a little mechanically, hoping that it would end soon, but knowing she'd likely draw it out as long as possible.

To my surprise, Hiro's bright trumpet cut through Rin's final note, and I moved more freely, taking a second to toss the fan over to Momiji. Hiro hadn't yet learned anything complex, but there was a beauty in his inexperience. His melody line was simple, but there was something brassy and proud about him, and challenging. I didn't use any flourishes, and lost some of my grace, exchanging it for power. Hiro would grow up to be very masculine, and I tried to reflect that. I moved sharply, bold without fear.

Hiro was still too young to challenge me the way he would in the future. Hiro's nature was challenging, but he also hated making mistakes, so he simply played a requiem to the old year in a brash style. I strutted proudly, and didn't allow any unnecessary gestures to impede my way.

I knew when Ritsu began to pluck his koto what he would do. He did the same thing every year: Haru no Umi, a piece that was usually a duet with a shakuhachi. The music was well-suited to the New Year, but was more background then anything, at least in my mind. Still, it was suited to Ritsu's nature, as he often preferred to fade away whenever possible.

The Jyunishi dances were sometimes changed by this half of song, but I had been expecting it. As it was half a song, I performed half a dance, moving whenever the shakuhachi would have been most vibrant. I became the other instrument, allowing my body to become melody. Ritsu kindly only played an excerpt, since he knew I was getting tired, and the climax of the show was coming.

The French horn was next. Something about the music was sinister, and I hoped the rooster wouldn't play for long. I shut my eyes, and decided to simply move like Akito; it reminded me of him.

I must have succeeded better than I thought, for all the Jyunishi looked at me in horrified recognition. It had been remarked before, how Akito and I were yin and yang to each other, and now that I was able to dance freely, the others could see it more clearly then ever. I mocked Akito, and I reveled in that feeling. I began to enjoy it, and my fatigue melted away, as my second wind hit me.

I was thoroughly engrossed in my dance when Shigure began to sing, abruptly cutting that horn off. It was rude to interrupt, but then the dog had never been overly concerned with manners. Most people wouldn't believe it - especially not Mit-chan! - but Shigure was blessed with a voice that could turn coal into gold, and move mountains.

Shigure's song contained the undercurrent of sadness we all bore, yet more joy than any of us. He regretted very little, and that also was reflected in his song. He had no words, just a melody, but it moved me even more. I returned to the flourishes I had abandoned, feeling energized. Playfully, I ran my hands over my chest, skimming my neck lightly before fanning them before my eyes. Shigure's voice scaled octaves effortlessly as he held a note for a very long moment before Kagura began the final section.

Kagura had begun on drums, but had changed to the hammered dulcimer a few years before. Her hands agilely raced up the scales, striking the strings. I put all my energy into this final bit, leaping and swirling, tossing my head and weaving elaborate patterns with my hands and feet, allowing my ribbons to trail freely wherever they would.

The music became frantic, and I knew that the pace would halt all too soon. I started to pace the circle, receiving a bow from the members of the Jyunishi for the last time as their ruler, until 2008. When I came to Kagura, she stilled her strings, nodding to me. The music ended, and I knew I had succeeded in my dance, and had done so with style. Now all that was left was for the Ox to take his place as the ruler of the Jyunishi, and my task was complete.

Haru rose from his place in the circle as I froze. "You dance most enticingly, mouse, but time passes, as it must."

"So it does," I said. "It has been a splendid year."

"It has... but your year is over. Go and rejoin the rest of the Jyunishi, and I will begin my year. The Year of the Mouse has passed; now the Ox reigns."

I smiled at him, and he smiled back, with all the love and affection he felt for me. Impulsively, I leaned forward and brushed a kiss across his cheek. "Reign well, and watch over us all," I whispered to him.

I am Jyunishi; I am cursed... but at that moment, when I completed the ritual dance that bid farewell to my year, and Haru rose to take my place as reigning Jyunishi of the New Year, I wouldn't have had it any other way.

* * *

Started July 14, 2002 - Completed Sept.1 2002. This is written at a time when Furuba fanfic is just starting to really come up, and their was still the debate on the rooster, if it's Kureno or Akito, and so forth, so I had to accommodate for that. While I was writing this, it was revealed Rin was the horse... not a surprise, but it did require some tweaking. 

The nature of the mouse: in English, we say "the year of the rat," and perhaps I should have used it. Still, I prefer mouse, and I understand that the Chinese use whatever they feel most comfortable with- at least that's what the threat on Hiro and the Goat said on the FruityGroup, and it mentioned the mouse as well. Besides, I worked with lab rats, and they are NOT cute.

Lyrics Rin sings to mock Yuki are "Lagoon" by Nightwish.


End file.
